Oh Boy, Lawn Boy

It's that time again.  It's staying light later into the evening (more hours of sunlight), storms continue to roll in (mostly on the weekends), and the grass is growing (rapidly).

Before Matt and I moved into our current house, we had always rented apartments. (Read, we didn't have to concern ourselves with lawn maintenance.)

So, when we moved into our house, I called my dad to see if he would go lawnmower shopping with us. 

"No need," he said.  "I have a perfectly good mower in the shed.  I'll bring it over to you."

A few days later he delivered to our house what I believe to be THE ORIGINAL LAWN BOY.  I'm pretty sure my parents got this mower as a wedding present - and they got married in 1979.

It's bright green, or at least it used to be before all of the paint was scratched off.  (I want you to have a full visual.) 

The handle, which is held together with bolts and mismatched wing nuts, is completely rusted, just waiting for the opportune moment to infect me with tetanus.

There used to be a primer button that my dad would press before starting the engine, but it rotted and fell off.  Now there is just a little hole in the side of the mower giving it the appearance of an inner-city-bird-house tenement. 

The rear axle seems to be growing; each week the wheels appear to be a little farther apart.  Before we were able to replace one of the front wheels (go figure, it's not easy to locate parts for a 30-year old mower), it's shape closely resembled that of a stop sign. Thunk, thunk. Thunk, thunk.

"There's a trick to starting this," my dad explained. 

First, you have to roll the mower onto its side.  This is not the intended orientation for a lawn mower, so it has a tendency to roll ALL THE WAY over.  At which point, I can be found standing in the yard yelling profanities at this upside down clump of metal.  While balanced on its side, you must use a screwdriver to open a little door.  Then, you must pour a little gas onto whatever part is hidden behind that door.  Close the door, roll ‘er over, and you're ready to pull on the starter cord about thirty times.

Once the mower is started, before I even begin cutting - I have to take a short break.

I start with the left side of the yard (if you're looking from the street).  Then I take another break before heading to the right side.  (Did I mention this mower is HEAVY?)  This side of the yard is also the subdivision entrance, and thus has some rather steep decorative berms.  In order to cut the sides of these miniature grass covered mountains; I must begin on the level part of the yard and get a running start.  I push the mower up as high onto the hillside as my little body can muster, then quickly back down, careful not to let the mower run over me.  I do this a great many times, at which point both the mower and I run out of gas.

Refill gas tank and repeat lawn mower starting routine:  roll onto side, retrieve screwdriver, open door, pour in some gas, close and lock door, roll back into an upright position, pull cord 30 times.

Seemingly inspired by my efforts, my neighbor likes to mow his grass while I mow mine.  As best as I can tell from my vantage point, his lawnmower, much shinier than mine, must have some type of push button start.  He frequently, and effortlessly, starts and stops his mower.  It's also, of course, self-propelled.  He just saunters behind his mower - probably whistling a little tune - while I'm bent in half pushing my old green machine around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Not only is the thing nearly impossible to start, but the ‘off' switch is also broken.  In order to turn the mower off, I have to close the gas valve leading to the engine.  Once the last of the gas in the line is used up (about three or four minutes after closing the valve) it will eventually stop running.  By that time, I've gathered just enough energy to push it back into the garage for another week.

My dad is still adamant: "You won't find a better mower than that old Lawn Boy."

With Matt's new travel schedule (and rain every weekend) the lawn-mowing responsibilities seem to keep falling to me.  So, this is my official invitation (ok, plea) for the names and numbers of some reputable, and affordable, lawn services in the Edwardsville area. 

Sincerely,

The Lawn Mower