I'm Officially an Underachiever

In more ways than one probably, but we’ll address the more light-hearted reason here.

Thanks to pug-puppy-Pearl, I now hang my toilet paper backwards/upside down/under – whatever you want to call it.

Pearl stinkin’ LOVES toilet paper. We try to keep the bathroom doors closed, but sometimes we forget (we’re all learning together). I’ve tried a firm, “No, no!” when she pounces the roll positioned just within her reach, but that does nothing.

Because I am cheap, I continue to re-roll the toilet paper for future use.

Because I’m allergic to dogs, I don’t particularly enjoy wiping my sensitive areas with tissue that Pearl has chewed on.

I refuse to permanently leave my toilet paper sitting on the back of the toilet, so at some point she is going to have to learn to ignore the fun paper streamers hanging in the bathroom.

I had a writer-friend over the other day, and she reminded me that if you flip the roll over from the nice, “overachiever” orientation that I always employ to the much harder to grasp “underachiever” direction – then the whole roll won’t unravel when she paws at it.

I vaguely remember this suggestion from an episode of Oprah that my mom recorded when my brother and sister were little.

And, maybe I’ll stop turning other people’s toilet paper around when I visit their house – thinking I’m doing them a favor – because maybe they also have a good reason for being an underachiever.